The most Dangerous combination of all? A warm, approachable, motherly smile and good looks.

Gina Haspel is quite an unremarkable woman to look at. She looks the type you’d expect to see dropping the kids off at school on the school run, and then heading off to her job in the city as an executive in the finance industry.

She’s the type of woman your mum would encourage you to approach as a kid if you needed help or were lost.

But behind that perfectly coifed hairdo, immaculate manicure and warm, if slightly patronizing smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes, is set to be the next head of the CIA.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t think she’d harm someone who approached her for help in the supermarket, but I’d certainly be wary of her if I had done something wrong, and given her professional history, the nickname she’s acquired is quite apt.

She’s nicknamed ‘Bloody Gina’.

A woman so formidable, that although she held the power to stop interrogations, she never did, even when detainees soiled themselves, vomited and even passed out. She’s been known to even go so far, complete with pearls, as to offer the motherly ‘olive branch’ to squeeze just the smallest bit more information out of them. Or more commonly, she’s been known to goad detainees after they’ve been tortured to further break their mental state. It is said she’s even partaken in the interrogation of some.

Little is known of her past, or personal life, only that should she head the CIA, she will be the most powerful spy in the western world.

Now, let’s talk business.

The world is in danger, we’ve got ISIS fanatics in one hand, and Vladimir Putin threatening to annihilate the rest of the world in the other. Funnily enough, Russia is in the bad books for the (alleged) poisoning of one of their own double agents.

So, what do we want in the person that’s going to be in control of the CIA, a service that all of us use thanks to the close, if frosty relationship that the UK and USA have?

Well, she certainly has the credentials, and as she’s obviously able to suppress the desire to Sympathetically Vomit, or Vomit in general during the interrogations that’s a pretty good start. Then there is the fact that she’s a woman.

Women are far better than men at manipulation and can adjust nearly any situation to suit them. Be that by turning on the ‘motherly charm’, or by turning into something more fearsome than a T-Rex that’s not eaten for 3 days.

You can see by her current photograph, that there are great things going on behind those shiny eyes and wide smile, and that she’s working out her next move like a Chess Grandmaster. Another good quality.

Torture isn’t right, but, if it’s keeping the vast majority safe, it’s a means to an end, and I’m sure that she literally only uses torture as a last resort.


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